I just love the food theme of this blog because as I'm writing my first ever blog N is in the kitchen cooking something gorgeous.
Yesterday I was diagnosed with breast cancer. What should have been a table for two became a table for 4. Myself, N, the consultant and the Macmillan nurse. Looking back the Macmillan nurse was the give away really!
First piece of news is that my lymph node has captured something cancerous. My inner voice says 'well done lymph you did so good, hive five'.
Next piece of news, they want to remove said lymph node and in fact all of the good guys around it. I'm asking myself if these good guys go who's going to catch all of the infections and toxins and cancers?
Next piece of news - they want to do surgery and chemo as soon as possible and they want to eliminate my oestrogen. Inner voice 'so the good guys go, the oestrogen that makes up me and my womanhood, they want to take that away too?’ I have no voice right that minute but I have a question taking shape already asking where am I in all of this? But I sit and I listen. Just listen.
First we must do a full body scan because they don't know where the root of this is. But they know they want to take out what they can see, they want to take away what they think feeds it, my oestrogen.
With all my might, I feel that don’t want that. This.
I look into N’s eyes and know there is a big journey ahead. By far not just a medical one, in fact much less so than one of self-discovery and a discovery of us.
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